Contributed by Paul Seaburn, Catalogs.com Top 10 Guru
While it’s no longer accepted as fact that 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce, it’s still true that divorce can be painful to all parties involved, including children, family, co-workers and friends.
Knowing the reasons for divorce can help couples spot the warning signs and openly discuss problems before they get too far out of hand. Whether it’s your own marriage that’s straining or that of some close, here are ten reasons causes of divorce.
10. Unmet expectations
If married life turns out to be not what you expected, divorce may seem like the solution. Sharing expectations before marriage is a good idea, reviewing them periodically after marriage is even better. Be gentle and understanding but also be open to criticism and open to change when discussing unmet expectations.
9. Boredom
Opposites may attract, but years of marriage can cause a sameness that leads to boredom and divorce. Remembering what brought you together, what you’ve accomplished and enjoyed together can help. Trying new things and setting new goals can also go a long way towards overcoming marital boredom.
8. Child-raising
Deciding who does what starts when the baby arrives and doesn’t stop until the baby moves out, and any disparity in the amount of effort can cause serious problems. Defining child-raising responsibilities, agreeing on what is appropriate for each stage of a child’s life, agreeing to them and being open to rearrange them as situations change will go a long way towards keeping the family together.
7. Religion and politics
The subjects should be avoided at family reunions but religion and politics should be discussed by couples before marriage to avoid surprises. However, opinions and beliefs can change and, if no longer acceptable to a spouse, can cause divorce. It’s often easier to agree to disagree than to change a spouse’s opinion.
6. Sex
Sexual problems can be caused by lack of communications, health issues and other conflicts, many of which can be resolved through counseling before leading to divorce. Problems range for lack of desire to unrealistic expectations. However, it’s not unheard of for couples to stay married even when one partner changes sexual orientation or gender.
5. Addiction
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Addiction to drugs, alcohol, gambling, games or the Internet take time away from a marriage and can lead to abuse, financial problems and other causes for divorce. The spouse with the addiction must want to quit while the enablers must start thinking about themselves for this problem to be resolved. Many 12-step groups and other addiction and recovery resources are available to help.
4. Lack of communications
Hearing your spouse say “We never talk” is a sure sign you need to start talking to each other or you’ll be talking to divorce lawyers soon. Ignoring a partner’s feelings or criticizing them instead of trying to understand can lead to avoiding conversation altogether.
3. Financial problems
Money or lack of it isn’t usually the only cause for divorce, but it doesn’t help, especially when economic conditions make the situation appear hopeless. On the bright side, it’s a problem that can often be overcome with discipline, communications and financial planning.
2. Abuse
Whether it’s physical, psychological or emotional, marital abuse is a leading reason for divorce as well as other serious problems. Stopping abuse is best left to professionals in counseling, therapy or law enforcement.
1. Cheating
Infidelity is the number one reason for divorce and the hardest to forgive, whether it’s a long-term affair or a one-night stand. While the reasons leading up to the betrayal can be explained, the loss of trust is difficult to get past.