Contributed by Cindi Pearce, Catalogs.com Top 10 Guru
One of the decisions that you, as a bride, have to make, and soon, is the size of your wedding party.
Your inclination may be to go crazy and ask everyone you see to be a bridesmaid. Rein it in and don’t get carried away. You will regret it.
Here are the top ten choosing bridesmaids tips:
10. 1:50
Decide how large your wedding party is going to be and stick to it. Don’t keep adding attendants. When you do that, your husband-to-be has to add another groomsman. The wedding party can get unwieldy. A rule of thumb, which you can choose to ignore, is that there should be one bridesmaid and corresponding groomsman for every 50 guests. If there are going to be 300 guests at your wedding, six bridesmaids and groomsmen is appropriate but you certainly don’t have to have that many. Furthermore, if your wedding is informal a smaller bridal party is more appropriate. Generally, large wedding parties are for extremely formal wedding.
9. Gender bend
Your maid of honor or bridesmaid can be a man, you know. Of course, this is a bit unconventional but many brides have male best friends.
8. Family matters
Should you include your sister and/or sister-in-law in the wedding party? Most brides do even when they are engaged in a life-long sibling rivalry with a sister but if you don’t want to, don’t. However, you are aware that this is going to cause some hurt feelings and you DO have to see your sister and in-laws in the future. However, if you and your sister or sister-in-law simply are not close and everyone knows it there is no ironclad rule that they must be included.
7. Consider finances
Bridesmaids generally pay for their own dresses and bridesmaid accessories so keep in mind the financial status of your friends. If you know that Betsy is going to struggle to come up with the funds either pick a less expensive dress to accommodate her or pay for it yourself. Another option is not to include Betsy in your wedding party but that is going to hurt her feelings. Or perhaps she may decline when you ask her based on her inability to pay for the outfit. This can get sticky.
6. Change with the times
You do not have to choose your best friend from high school if you haven’t seen her in ages. Friendships change over the years and those you were closest to when you were a teenager and to whom you vowed eternal devotion may not be your best friends after college and once you’ve entered the workforce. People move away, form new friendships and interests and that’s just the way it is. Even though you swore to Pamela when you were 16 that she would be your maid of honor, she’ll understand if she isn’t certainly if you haven’t crossed paths in the recent past.
5. Consider life events
If your friend, who is going to be a bridesmaid, announces after the fact that she’s going to be eight month pregnant at the time of the wedding it’s up to her if she wants to be in the wedding party.
4. When the dress fits
There are lovely bridesmaids’ dresses for expectant mothers as well as for those bridesmaids who are overweight. You don’t have to dress all of your attendants in the same gown. Pick a dress that is flattering on all or them or let them wear different designs. You can’t expect Rebecca who tops the scales at 250 to look as good as 120 pound Jenny in a sheath that shows every curve and bulge. It is torturous and embarrassing for a big girl to be required to squeeze into a dress that was designed for a skinny Minnie. Don’t subject your bridesmaids to this brutality.
3. Streamline
Keep it small. A matron of honor or maid of honor and no other attendant or just one another is certainly nice and it’s easier to keep a small wedding party under control and is less expensive.
2. Avoid conflicts
If you know from past experience that so and so, as much as you love her (sometimes) is going to be a royal pain in the behind and create all kinds of diva drama leading up to your wedding day, you might want to “forget” to include her. Of course, this will probably ruin your friendship but that may be better than letting a bridesmaid from hell ruin your wedding.
1. Leave town
Elope and take two witnesses with you. That solves this problem.