Contributed by Aurora LaJambre, Catalogs.com Info Guru
Going through a divorce interrupts every area of your life. It’s never easy regardless of the reasons why the relationship is ending.
You find yourself suddenly trying to deal with loss, pain, anger and stress while also coping with the legal side of divorce – and if you read another book about self discovery you may be tempted to knock over a book shelf.
Taking care of yourself is the most important thing you can do during a divorce. This list focuses on the Top 10 ways for coping with divorce emotionally.
10. Cut yourself slack
To state the obvious, you will have bad days. While counselors encourage people not to dwell on negative feelings, you don’t need to add to them by making yourself feel guilty about missing a day at the gym. Instead, set a small goal for the next day.
9. Don’t start or indulge bad habits
Smoking, drinking and eating poorly will not benefit you. Filling the void of your loss with self destructive behavior is not nearly as fun as learning to surf (see below).
8. Spend time with loved ones
Spend time with friends and family, especially the cute furry ones. Dwelling on negative feelings gives them more power over you and increases stress. Schedule a weekly dinner with people who listen and make you laugh and feel good about yourself.
7. Low impact distractions
Sometimes you’ve journaled and shared as much as you can stand and you need a good healthy distraction. Read, watch a movie, listen to music, visit a museum, take a warm bath or meditate.
6. Create a routine
It’s time to create a new routine, even if it’s temporal. Wake up at the same time, eat, shower, schedule appointments, schedule responsibilities like bills and groceries. On those days when you feel lost, your routine can be a good wall to lean on, along with friends and family.
5. Shake things up
Paint a room. Move your furniture around. Install a book shelf. Slight changes in your scenery signify growth, and will keep your mind distracted for a while. And while you’re waiting for the paint to dry, take a walk in nature.
4. Sleep
Try a cup of chamomile tea before bed if you have trouble getting to sleep. Like eating healthy and keeping up your hygiene (oh, hello soap), nurturing yourself in the most basic ways helps prevent depression.
3. Reach out for support
Surround yourself with support. Think about joining a support group for those going through divorce. These groups exist because many people are going through the same thing. Sitting at home may seem like the path of least resistance, but it’s crucial to have a place to go where you can speak freely.
2. Pursue new interests
Fill your life with activities that stimulate your mind and creativity. Take a language or cooking course, take up knitting, painting, photography or writing. These outlets will focus your energy in a positive way, even if your first few projects are rather dark in theme.
1. Exercise
High impact cardio activities like running, cycling, spinning and swimming are great ways to let off steam. If you like water sports, try surfing or kayaking or get your hands dirty with a rock climbing course. Exercising regularly is one of the best ways to manage stress, and it’s hard to feel down when endorphins are running through your body.
Coping with divorce is difficult. That is to say, you may not feel like baking cup cakes, going to work or showering. It doesn’t help that when the mind is preoccupied, the body doesn’t have an auto button to get you out and doing things that are good for you.
Healing from the loss of the relationship takes time and patience. More than anything, it takes the belief that things will get better. You will move on.