Understanding why bullying happens is the first step in stopping it
It?s not just kids that bully. Adults bully and are sometimes bullied by a boss, a co-worker or even by a spouse. Why bullying happens is due to a lot of reasons, none of which make it acceptable.
When young, there are pressures to fit in. Even children taught ethics, values and morals in the home can lose their moral compass when associating with peers that think perpetuating lies, hitting people and harassing others is acceptable and cool. Correcting bullying behavior may require educational resources, trained counselors and parental intervention.
Ironically, bullies have more friends than non-bullies, probably because people are afraid not to befriend them. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Bullies select someone weaker or smaller as their victim. They want to dominate and manipulate. This requires a smaller or weaker person.
Behavior meant to cause harm or distress to another person works best when there is an imbalance of muscle or command between the victim and the aggressor.
Physically bullying (shoving, punching) and cyber bullying (online, via texts, emails) are types of bullying. Sexual harassment and threatening someone because of one?s sexual orientation, ethnicity, religion, gender identity, race are other forms.
Bullies consider violence an acceptable thing. They don?t experience shame or guilt when behaving in this manner. Facing consequences for their actions is a must. These individuals need to learn to behave in a way that isn?t destructive, dangerous and harmful to others.
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MALES VS FEMALES
Males tend to bully in person, which is considered direct bullying and entails physical confrontations as well as name calling. Females tend to use circuitous methods, such as excluding someone or spreading stories. Indirect or covert bullying is as painful and harmful as direct bullying but it isn?t as readily seen by others.
WHY DO THEY DO IT AND WHO DOES IT?
Some think bullying improves their social status while others engage in this behavior because they have been bullied or because they?re frustrated or angry.
Studies show tormentors often originate in families where there is little affection. Another common denominator includes parents that don?t monitor their child?s whereabouts and are fickle disciplinarians. When punishment is doled out it is often physical.
Contrary to popular opinion, aggressive people usually have average or above-average levels of self regard, make friends easily and possess good leadership skills. A bully isn’t necessarily the kid with low-self esteem.
This behavior may be prompted by a need for power and the enjoyment the individual derives when he subdues others.
Conflict occurs between people and this is normal but it is not the same as bullying, which is the repeat and purposeful use of actions and words against someone.
When kids live in abusive homes they may model the abuser?s behavior and become aggressive and mean themselves.
This behavior is frequently encouraged by other children, giving the aggressor positive self-enforcement, so he continues doing it. When dominate, the person gets a lot of attention and others fear him, which makes him feel prestigious and important.
When picking on an unpopular person to victimize, the tormentor believes this increases his popularity.
Lack of empathy towards others results in an individual that doesn?t care about the feelings and rights of others. It may be the person derives sadistic pleasure when causing pain for another person. Brain scans reveal that the portion of the brain where emotions are self-regulated are inactive in bullies.